In the bleak...

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

I find it surprising that so many people are saying "Oooh isn't this weather awful..."

It's Britain, it's December, it's the winter solstice...what do you expect?

Next time I hear someone complain about the snow I'm going to ask them to think about all the Christmas cards they've sent and tell me how many have featured snow. And whether they've sprayed that imitation snow on their windows.

And just listen to yourself humming "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas"!

We're just not used to it over here in England - we don't get enough of it regularly enough to make it economically worthwhile to have all the kit that Canada or Norway roll out to deal with it and keep their national scenes operating. In fact, we English are a little embarrassed about winning in general, whether it's taking on Malta at football or the Aussies at cricket or a few inches of snow at Gatwick.

So far, I've kept my show on the road and have bookings up to Thursday 23rd. And to be fair to other parts of the country, Hereford City seems to have had it very easy with the snow, although the temperature has been down to -10°C even in the day.

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I managed to get a month out of sync with my charity donations - but I'm determined to make sure that my December charity gets done before the turn of the year. I always hope that something will suggest itself - and sure enough it has! Last week I started a gentleman who is my oldest client to date - 88 - and he's one of the people insisting on a lesson on this Thursday. He's told me something of his life and background. He was orphaned at an early age and was brought up in a Dr. Barnardo's home. During the war he was a "Bevin Boy", sent down the mines to dig coal for victory.

So there we are! My charity for December is Barnardo's, as it's called nowadays. Seems very apt for Christmas...children, gifts etc.

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Busy week for singing, of course. Two carol services Wednesday and Thursday, then Christmas Eve, then three services on The Day. Christmas lunch??? Are you kidding?

"Snow had fallen snow on snow,
Sno-ow o-on Sno---w...."

(Get the picture?)

Colin

November's Charity

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

I was rushing to the bank at 4.55pm - it shuts at 5 - when one of those lively young people bounced up to me in the centre of Hereford. "Sorry", I said, "Can't stop but I will come back after I've been to the bank..."

And so I did, much to her surprise, I think! I went straight into my spiel about how I run a one-man business and I do one charity each month and hers was going to be the lucky one for November. This saves them having to go through all that rigmarole of explaining their particular charity and then trying to persuade me to sign a direct debit.

She'd been enthusing all day about Guide Dogs and I hope she believed me when I said I would contribute. So Faybie, here I am as promised.

I don't know why I hadn't thought of it earlier, because Hereford has a higher proportion of blind and partially-sighted people than most towns and cities. For the last 30 years Hereford has been the home of the Royal National College (for the Blind)

Colin

So that was November!

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

I really do intend to write this blog at least once a week, but it's been such a busy month. And I feel well into my third business year now. The last posting promised you more stats 'n' stuff but I'm just going to display the monthly takings for you to inspect...and you can draw your own conclusions...inferences...speculations etc.

Things are on the up! This really is a business which is helping me survive. In fact it is now the major source of my income and teaching clients occupies all my daylight hours 5 days a week.

Well, perhaps not all those hours are actually face-to-face, but including the travelling in between I reckon it's a full-time job. Then there are the hours I spend most nights preparing material or researching things. And what with the 'twilight' singing job at the Cathedral, it all adds up to a busy week.

Once again I'm late in doing my charity for the month - I still need to do November's and I'll announce that tomorrow. That will ensure there's another posting this week!

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Had a day out in London last Tuesday with the Cathedral Choir. We were invited to sing Advent carols at the Royal Military Chapel, better known as "The Guards' Chapel". Haven't been to London for ages, even though I'm sort of 'from' there. Great privilege to sing at the chapel and we were very well fed in the Grenadier Guard Officers' Mess. Not many people get in there for supper!

Colin

New business year!

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

Straight back to work on the 2nd Nov after my trip away to Southern climes...and completely forgot to mark the end of my 2009-2010 business year on the 4th.

Last year we launched a big rocket and one of those Chinese lanterns on the 5th, to mark the start of the 'new year'. But because November 5th was so drizzly miserable this year I stayed in the pub (Friday night ritual) and forgot to celebrate business, the deliverance of King James and everything else!

But I did remember to do the necessary mundane things, like start a new spreadsheet for my 2010-2011 accounts and label some new folders for all the receipts and invoices etc. etc.

Hardly a celebration, though!

A few figures for comparison:

No. of new clients 2008-2009 was 61. In 2009-2010 it was 64.

Taught sessions 2008-2009 was 240. In 2009-2010 it was 400

Turnover 2008-2009 was £8406. In 2009-2010 it was £13391

In my first year the average number of lessons each client had was 4. Over two years it's been just over 5. Not sure what that shows...or even if it's significant! Could show that my teaching is so good that they tend to want more lessons, or that they need more lessons because my teaching is getting worse!

How's it going for you?

Colin

October Charity

My October charity is the Ubuntu Education Fund.

Ubuntu is a Bantu word implying "community spirit". It's been more elegantly paraphrased as "I am what I am because of who we all are"

So guess where I've been for the last ten days...

Yes...South Africa!

Hereford Cathedral Choir has just returned from its first tour of South Africa. The very South of South Africa, actually. Cape Town, George and Port Elizabeth with a brief visit to Grahamstown...and then all too soon we flew back for Monday 1st Nov.

I say all too soon - but to be honest, long enough for singing a concert four times...and four church services...with a lot of miles by coach in between. But I'd love to go back and spend more time to take in the country.

What I saw there made me think a lot about where South Africa has come from and where it's going.........so that's my charity for the month.

I said 'Ubuntu' is a Bantu word, but we weren't in the Bantu part of SA. The indigenous language is Xhosa, which is a 'click' language - the 'X' represents the click - and I've been trying to say 'Xhosa' ever since!

Ubuntu is also the name given to a freeware operating system - free to the community, so hence the name. So there's a sort of computery link, not to mention all the clicking that computer users do!

Colin

Doggone it!

by Colin MYCOMPUTER TUTOR

I showed you the tattered remains of a leaflet I tried to deliver last week through a door guarded by an over-zealous dog. At least, I presumed it was a dog - it certainly had teeth - but you never know what strange pets some people keep.

Anyway, later that same week I was called by the lady who has the little EeePC to say that she couldn't get email and the battery light was on all the time... So I paid her a visit to see what was what. Her tiny Asus PC couldn't connect to the Internet, and every time I checked the battery level it was a little lower - down to 16%.

The lights on the router were as they should be and the mains power switch was on. The power lead from the adaptor/plug and the network 'patch cable' were wrapped together in one of those plastic 'cable tidy' sheaths, and at first glance all seemed well. But when I unpeeled the sheath, I found that both the power lead and the Internet cable had been chewed through! The lady has three 'resident' dogs and several others in kennels.

The smallest dog had obviously been very frustrated when the lady had gone out at some time, and had chewed the cable tidy repeatedly!

So, mystery solved! I managed to mend the power lead with electrician's tape. Luckily, I carry a spare patch cable with me so I fitted that...and all was mended. But the place is totally devoted to all things 'dog' and I just wonder how long it will be before I have to repeat this rescue. Good thing for doggy that he chose the 12v end. The adaptor's plugged into a trailing socket with 250v coming out of the wall!

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I've just 'met' two more computer tutors, John in Lincolnshire and Rosie in Surrey. There are links to them over there on the right - have a look at their websites - say hello - compare notes etc.

Colin

Zen...and the etiquette of delivering leaflets

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

1. I always leave the gate as I find it.
2. If there's a notice that says "Dogs loose" or similar, I close the gate as I go in. The gate's there to keep the dog in.
3. I let dogs come to me and make friends. No-one would be so stupid as to let a vicious dog out...would they?
4. I never walk across the grass.
5. I never walk across the front room window, even if the two houses share the drive. That's an invasion of privacy.
6. I never climb or even step over a dividing wall, but I will go straight from one door to the next if I can, bearing in mind rule 5.
7. I always walk away down the path/drive holding the next leaflet. If I've disturbed the occupier, he will see my retreating back, a sheaf of paper in my one hand and an ostentatiously-flapping leaflet in the other. He can then identify me as a bona fide deliverer of leaflets rather than a pikey who's been scared off by the dog.
8. I always push the leaflet right through the letterbox - as least as far as I can so that it doesn't show outside. This has become a standard common-sense security measure.

On occasions I do meet the occupier. Often in the garden or unloading the shopping from the car, or sometimes just on the way out. My standard line is

"Good morning/afternoon...I'm just delivering leaflets...it might be of interest"

On a few occasions, someone has looked at the leaflet heading and said:

"Ahhh....yes....this could be just what I want..."

or made similar noises.

So I turn back and we start talking about what they've got and what they want to do...I can recall at least a dozen occasions over two years where this has happened. And I get home later, fully expecting the phone to ring and a booking to be made.

And yet NONE of these people has ever followed it up with a phonecall. Perhaps it's best if I don't stop and talk to them!

I regret that I haven't kept a rigorous record of the number of my clients who have responded to a leaflet delivered through the door. I have registered my 118^th client this week - that's after 23 months of business - and I'd say that 80% have come through the leaflets.

Colin

Delivering Leaflets - Part 3 - Survival

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

We are a nation of pet-lovers and I meet lots of dogs and cats on my leaflet deliveries.

The cats I meet are of three types:

• Friendly cat
• Snooty cat
• Scaredy cat

Which type do you think this one is?

Hard to tell isn't it? Cats don't give much away...

Dogs are more straightforward:

• Friendly
• Vicious

Now then...which one do you think this is?

The relationship's pretty clear, isn't it? The trouble is that I rarely get such a clear view of Deputy Dawg. If I'm lucky, I'll hear the barking as I approach, or I will have seen him jump down from the sofa.

But then there's the mechanics of the letterbox to deal with (see Part 2 for an exhaustive critique of those!) And on a few occasions - just a very few - you encounter the Stealth Psycho Dog who won't make a sound...but he waits.....

So there you are, lifting the letterbox flap with one hand and pushing the other hand right through because, yes, it's one of those vile bristly boxes and you don't want to leave a leaflet half out of the door (see Delivering Leaflets Part 4 - Etiquette tomorrow) And then....well, here are the remains of a near miss I had yesterday!

I was left holding this fragment while the Stealth Psycho Dog was reading, marking, learning and inwardly digesting the rest!

Grrrrr!

Colin

Delivering Leaflets - Part 2

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

Hereford's an old town and I put leaflets through a wide variety of doorways. Many of the residential streets are Victorian or Edwardian, many others are 1930's and there has been a lot of housing put up within the last 20 years too.

My own street has some three storey Georgian houses at one end and late 20th century houses at the other. The houses in between, including mine, are mid-19th century, built for the railway station staff. The stationmaster's house really is a cut above the rest - that post had a high status in 1860!

I walk up to lots of different doorways when I'm out with the leaflets and I make a quick assessment of the letterbox as I approach. This door on the right is close to being perfect. It's right up my street...literally! No, seriously, it has a decent-sized letterbox and a step up to it. It's one of the Georgian houses. Pity that the fittings aren't original Georgian but perhaps the colour is a close attempt!

The step is good because as I turn away I get a good spring off it and on to the next house...

The letterbox is good because it's a good size, there's no flap to lift and this style rarely has those horrible bristles beyond them! (I know they're supposed to keep the draught out, but they can mangle my leaflets something terrible!)

This fine door is Edwardian, I think. Set in a porch with a proper coir doormat.

As I approach along the driveway I have time to fold the leaflet (without creasing it) because I can see that this style of letterbox is smaller - probably original.

Shame about the glass, though!

Now this is a horror - I hate them.

This mimsy little letterbox has a flap that pushes back and up, which needs two hands! So you tuck the wodge of leaflets under your armpit, fold the leaflet, push the flap back with one hand and then squeeze the leaflet either left or right of the flap.

Then you find those wretched bristles in the way too!

Original '30s glass, though....

And these!

Who designed these?

Not a postman, or anyone who has ever put anything through a letterbox, that's for sure!

This is the

BreakBack Door...

...at least you would see the waiting dog through the glass!

More on them later

When there's a porch with a letterbox...and a door with a letterbox, I always make the effort to go into the porch and post the leaflet through the door.

I want to make sure the household see my leaflet, and I'm never sure if they actually use the front door. The leaflet could sit in that porch for months...quite often I see a pile of freebie newspapers and those charity bags.

So I make the effort to get my leaflet across the threshold.

Similarly with these. Yes, they're easy to 'flip' - some of them are 'top-loading' - but if there's a letterbox through the door I'll use that.

Get that leaflet into the house!

This box was right up near the house, but I have found some placed at the end of long driveways. You'd think that this would be helpful to the postman - and to me - but when I see the cobwebs over the slot I make the effort to walk up that driveway.

Delivering leaflets - Part 1

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

I started a new batch of my A5 leaflets at the beginning of September - 5000 of them - and I decided to deliver them around Hereford City again. I did pretty well all the streets within walking distance of my home back in November 2008 up to August 2009, when I got the car and was able to get out further into the County. When I say 'walking distance of my home', I mean a radius of about four miles. I like walking! So I covered a lot of Hereford.

This time around, though, I'm going to be a little more selective. Now call me a snob if you will, but some areas, some streets are more worthwhile than others. There are a few pointers I follow in deciding whether to leaflet an area or not:

• Are they well-kept houses?
• Are the gardens cared for?
• How old are the cars?

One of my guiding principles is "Does it look as though this household would pay for private tuition?"

Tatty-looking curtains (worse if they are closed), a garden that shows evidence of recycled dog's dinners and a car registered last century are not good indications.

I don't offer a cut-price service (although I do discounts!)

My other guiding principle is "You never know...."

This is the "You can't judge a book by its cover" principle coupled with the "What If" principle. I have passed by whole estates of houses in Hereford where, from my experience and their reputation, I think it just wouldn't be worth the time and effort. And yet, there could be someone in there desperate to get started with a computer and My Computer Tutor could be just the thing they need.....

There's lots more to follow about leaflets - this is Part 1 of..........well, I want to tell you all about letter-boxes, and dogs...and cats....and...so much more!

Colin

September Charity

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

My September charity is The British Heart Foundation.

Three reasons at least:

• JB who welcomed me to his home in California four years ago and who started this month with a heart attack. The medical team were brilliant.
• MC whom I teach. An old soldier with a wicked sense of humour, he has a "dicky ticker", as he puts it.
• My dad 1916-1997

You can probably think of some too...

Today I have no clients - people don't seem to want Tuesdays! - but I have loads of support material to produce for clients' manuals, so shall spend a busy morning with screenshots, OpenOffice.org Writer, my excruciatingly slow printer and a hot laminator.

Oh yes...I know how to have fun!

Colin

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P.S....Bullet Points

I wondered why the bullet points above didn't show up, so I took a deep breath and explored the template HTML.

So now I feel very pleased with myself....and just had to tell you!

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"...one of Nature's little kings"

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

Just thought you'd like to see what I saw this afternoon.

I'd just spent a couple of hours delivering my new improved leaflets. I've decided to re-do Hereford City because it's at least a year since I last hit the city's streets with leaflets. More of that story later...

I was walking back along a busy street in town when I saw a small group of people staring and pointing at something on the steps of a financial adviser's - you know the kind of building, with that air of exclusivity and smoky glass. As I approached I thought it was a leaf, or maybe a butterfly that they were so interested in, but when I got close I saw it was a goldcrest! There are some birch trees along the road and an old cemetery nearby with other trees and bushes, but this little fella must have got a bit confused and flown into one of the windows and stunned himself.

This isn't my hand, nor the same bird - I've borrowed this photograph courtesy of The Western Isles website.

There were three women there looking, one of whom I recognised as an ex-school pupil. She had her daughter with her in a push-chair - it was 'school home-time' - and she said she'd nearly run the bird over with the push-chair.

The bird was just standing there, the eyes bright, but I easily picked it up. Wild birds won't normally let you do that! When a bird is stunned, the best thing to do is keep it warm and calm - i.e. in the dark - so a tiny bird like a goldcrest can easily fit in the warmth of two cupped hands.

And sure enough - or maybe I should say luckily - after a couple of minutes he started to perk up and then flutter...and off he flew up into a birch tree

Goldcrests are actually the smallest British bird. They are common but not many people are aware of them because they are so small and like to poke around in hedgerows or up in birch and larch trees. Their Latin scientific classification name is Regulus, which means 'little king'. The Americans call them kinglets!

I've featured several pictures of birds in my posts. That's because I've always been fascinated by them and I'm always looking out for them!

New Season

By Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

September always feels like a fresh start. It's the end of the holiday season for most people - back to school for many - and having been a teacher for 25 years I still get that "start-of-a-new-year" feeling in September. So although my business year doesn't start for another two months I'm already in "review mode"!

Now I'm free of the monthly payments to ADC, for advertising in my local Sainsbury's, I've decided to invest in more leaflets and also use my local freebie newspaper. Leaflets have given me the best return of clients so far. Local parish and community magazines have been worthwhile too, so I think it's going to be worth paying that bit more to get a decent size advert in the local freebie each week.

Here's the revised leaflet - this is its 4th incarnation!

The printers said that they could do the logo in shades of blue rather than full 4-colour, which would have been horrendously expensive.

The top two blues came out a little darker than the ones you see here, but there's still good definition and I think it looks much more professional to have your logo in its colours rather than 'grayscale'.

I've had 5000 of these done - they work out at a little under 3p each - and they will be hitting the neighbourhood as from this weekend!

I tried the local newspaper last year for 4 weeks and did get some response from that, so I'm prepared to try it again up to the middle of December. There's little point in advertising in the week before Christmas, so I shall have another review in the New Year.

One of the local papers charges double if you include any colour, so I'm advertising in the other one!

Luckily, the paper with advertising at the cheaper rate features news and articles, so it's more likely to be read.

The other one is totally dedicated to adverts, so if you're not looking for something to buy you're likely to throw it away without even opening it...I do!

This will go in the 'Professionals' section, which is chockerful of display adverts. Most of them are single column and the few that catch my eye

(i) have a logo and/or (ii) are three columns wide.

So that's what I've gone for here. It costs more but should catch the eye, which is the first step in advertising:

Attention, Interest, Desire, Action...

I seem to remember from somewhere...so I hope I've got some of those right!

Colin

Long Distance Information...

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

I'm now travelling an 80-mile round trip once a week to teach a gentleman in Builth Wells in mid-Wales. We've agreed that I'll do a three-hour session and take him through "the basics". We start off with coffee...then do an hour or so...then there's a coffee-break...and then another stretch until he feels he's had enough. Information and coffee, that is.

What do you consider to be "the basics"?

In my experience, as far as that goes, people have a home computer for communication and finding information, which usually means learning how to do email and how to find things on the Web. So my first sessions are about email - which is a big topic - and then how to search for information.

I am a great fan of "email clients" - Outlook Express, Windows Mail, Windows Live Mail ... and recently Mozilla Thunderbird. One or two clients are using Outlook, but they'd already been introduced to it by their children.

I really do my utmost to discourage people from using web-mail unless they are already set in their ways. I hate it!

I hate the way AOL mail announces "You have email...."

I hate the way BT fills up every mail folder with an advert as soon as you empty it...

I hate all the distracting flashing flickering adverts that generally surround webmail...

I hate having to enter my email address and password every time I want to see my emails, even the old ones!

Yeuk!

Just a personal opinion...but everyone is entitled to my opinion!

So, rest assured that I have got my new client off to a good start with a mail client!

The other thing that annoys me is the way that various agents clutter up your browser with toolbars. I reckon the only toolbar worth having is Google's - so you can always carry out a Google search however many webpages you have open.

That's all I have - and I always make sure my clients have the Menu Bar available too.

Of course, the more toolbars you have in the browser the less space there is on the screen for the webpage.

I could rant on......................and probably will in ensuing posts! But to end, here's a little tale about communication:

I received an email through my website last week from a lady in Manchester, who wanted help with her laptop and also to know how much I charged. I'm always pleased when I get feedback from my website - it shows it's working! - but sorry that I couldn't help the lady. Manchester is 145 miles away from me and that really is too much of a round trip.

So I did some research through Google with "computer lessons manchester" etc. etc. and managed to find a couple of references to computer tutors in that area. I then emailed her, apologizing that I couldn't teach her but offering her these local contacts.

One of them is Pete, who specializes in teaching digital photography and website design. We've now exchanged a couple of emails and I've put a link to his website in the UK Tutors list...

Colin

August Charity

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

I drove over to Bromyard last week to meet two new clients. Bromyard's about 14 miles from me and I was pleased to be able to organise these two clients on the same morning. Things don't always work out so well!

One gentleman is recovering from a stroke. He's been using a computer for years but now wants to get back into it again. He was obviously very competent before the stroke and I can see the frustration he's having in trying to explain to me what he wants to do. He says that he knows what he wants to say but has to think very carefully to make sure that the right words come out.

As each month begins I sometimes have an idea for a charity to support, but on occasions I just have to wait until something presents itself - and this month's charity has been like that. So it's the Stroke Association for August.

My two Bromyard clients live just a quarter of a mile away from each other and if they will agree to have their lessons on the same morning it will make it a very worthwhile weekly trip.

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On the way home, in a rare spell of bright sunshine, I saw a red kite hovering like a large kestrel! They have spread from Wales into Herefordshire over the last few years. If you're in the Buckinghamshire/Oxfordshire area you'll know this bird well - they were successfully introduced there in 1995.

Advertising

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

A few months ago I talked about my advertising in Sainsbury's. I was so glad that I'd paid the last (6th) instalment for this advertising, which cost me in total £600.

As I said in that post, the idea seemed like such a good one. Here's the sort of thing - well, the actual thing in my local Sainsbury's:

It's about halfway down the store at the end of the checkouts, near the toilets and near the cafe...it couldn't really be better positioned. And yet, it just doesn't work!

I forgot to mention it's right by the telephone and next door to the customer advertising board...but it doesn't work!

I've stood in the checkout queue many times and watched people go by. Quite a few people show interest in the customer advertising - you know, the cards you can fill out and post for a couple of weeks when you want to sell a car/bunk beds/sandpit/parrot etc. etc. - they stop and have a good look at those. And others stop by the phone and call a taxi...and the business card adverts are right in front of them...but I've never seen anyone take one of these cards.

I've paid the company - ADC "Associated Discount Cards" and a subsidiary of WRT Group - to display my business cards here for two years. They promise to keep them topped up during that time. And they do - I know - because a few weeks ago I took a great wodge of my own cards out and soon afterwards my slot was filled again. The trouble is that they do cram in as many cards as they can, so if you do try to take one out it's very difficult!

Look closely - or click on the picture to enlarge it - and you'll see that Golden Valley Dog & Cat Grooming has been along and pulled out one card to try to make it easier for any curious passerby...but we've all tried that trick over the months! It just doesn't work... Sooner or later, ADC comes along and straightens it all up again!

I worked hard at designing my own business card - a special one for this board, not my usual business card - and took ADC's advice about making it stand out and offering a discount. ADC offer to design a card for you, but it would cost an extra £99 (2009 price)

£600!

And that was at a discount! The salesman first told me it would cost about £12 a week, but when I said I couldn't pay that he immediately offered this discount. And at about £5 per week it sounded reasonable - it seemed a great location, a great idea. If it got me a client each month it would pay for itself!

But what a big IF....

I'm leaving it all up there, of course. After all, I've paid for two years...but I really think that after nine months I should have got some response from it.

£600!

That would get me 30,000 leaflets or, more practically, about 20 weeks in the local paper (a decent 3-column block advert!) And leaflets and local papers and parish magazines do work!

Anyone else out there who's had experience of this? Had any success with it?

Picking up...

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

Just a quick post because suddenly things are busy.

When I returned from a weekend family birthday party ( mother - 90) on Sunday I had 7 pupils booked for this week, which, considering it's August, I thought was pretty good. After catching up with emails and returning phone messages, by Monday morning I had 11 booked for this week, which is really busy!

And my fame seems to be spreading: although I say that my operational radius is 20 miles as the crow flies

(that's probably 25 miles allowing for rural wiggles) I went well the far side of Ludlow today to a new pupil. Ludlow's a place I haven't leafletted yet but I shall - oh yes!

And this evening I've picked up a phone message from Builth Wells, which is 40+ miles deep into Wild Wales. Now that seems too far....but then the gentleman wants a crash course in using a computer, so if he can take a whole morning session, or perhaps a whole day with a good lunch-break of course....hmmmmm, I'll have to think carefully about this one.

Do any of you offer whole days one-to-one? Most people can't take more than two hours at a stretch, but I suppose a day could be broken up into manageable chunks?

Success with LINUX

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

I've spent most of the day preparing a manual for my lady with the tiny Eee PC. We had a successful morning last week after I'd got her connected to her ISP and set up email for her, spending the rest of the lesson practising sending emails.

The Eee PC is produced by Asus and this particular one runs Linux Xandros. OpenOffice.org, Mozilla Firefox and Thunderbird email client are installed. I've come to prefer OpenOffice Writer over MS Word, especially for producing my manuals where I use lots of screenshot pictures and Firefox I've used when I design my websites.

Here's the screenshot of the Eee PC in 'webcam mode'. Yes, I still look bemused!

I thought I'd better install Thunderbird on my own computer so that I could reproduce the screenshots for this client's manual. I was amazed to see that once I had it installed it was showing about 100 emails of mine, all dated 2007. Now I remember, I did briefly play with Thunderbird a few years ago...so it was fascinating to 'catch up' on some old news! But it's good that there are some mails there - I was thinking that I would have to send a few to it, just to make it look used.

So the rest of this evening will be spent in creating some more pages on basic use of the Eee PC.
The 3 'e's stand for elegant, exceptional and easy....no.....extraordinary, embracing and epicureal...no...oh, you make something up!

Mrs PC

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

One of my clients said that she'd been in contact with a friend in Bristol over the weekend and was telling this friend about the computer lessons she was having with me. Friend was very interested...and asked my client if I would be prepared to go to Bristol and teach her. So my client very sensibly suggested that if her friend could get a few others together, it would make a worthwhile "day out" for me!

Which is why I came home yesterday and went straight onto the Web to see if there were any computer tutors in Bristol. It did seem strange to me that the lady was looking so far afield - Hereford's 55 miles from Bristol. And as far as I could see - that is, several pages of Google results - there is only one in the Bristol area:

"Mrs PC"

Great name, I thought, and immediately emailed Lou to introduce myself and ask how things were going. She started earlier this year and runs a blog too. I've added her to my list of 'Tuition Around the UK' over there on the right.

Have a look at her website...make encouraging noises...remember what starting out was like?

Start Menu

BY GUEST BLOGGER Carol

I'm sure this wasn't meant as a competition - but Colin's assertion that no-one needs the Snipping Tool was just a red rag to a bull! So here's a screenshot of my own start menu. Yes - complete with snipping tool, which I use all the time. I use it a lot when I'm making websites.

Notice also the Carbonite Backup Drive. Anyone that knows me will know that I am totally paranoid about backups.

I have lost count of the number of clients that phone me up because their computers have ground to a halt/crashed because they are riddled with malware. My first question is always - do you have a backup of the documents/emails? Most say no. Some I can backup before starting the rescue attempts. Some I can't.

So:

Do your backups!!!

That is what Carbonite does. It is an online backup service that performs a constant, running backup. The instant I save/add something new to my computer, Carbonite backs it up. There is another, similar service called Mozy - which you can sign up for here

I also use an external hard-drive and once a week or so back-up to there as well. For my websites, I pay my webhost for weekly, offsite backups.

Why am I so paranoid? Bitter experience. Have I ever lost everything? No (and I always say that with my fingers crossed and touching large amounts of wood)

What's on YOUR Start Menu?

by Colin MY COMPUTER TUTOR

Since 'Windows 7' came out I've set up several new computers - mostly laptops - for clients. It's significantly better than 'Vista', and I've set up many of those too! Thank heavens Microsoft got rid of the ghastly Gadgets and made sure that the computer actually 'Shuts Down' now. I've lost count of the times that I arrived at a client's house to find that the laptop battery had run down, because for some strange reason - or maybe just through carelessness - Microsoft had set the Vista 'Shut Down' button to default 'Sleep'.

But why oh why is the Win 7 Start Menu cluttered up with default stuff?

I mean...who needs the 'Snipping Tool'?

My clients are quite new to computers, otherwise they'd set up their own. They make a lot of mistakes with clicking here and there inadvertently, so because Microsoft have 'helpfully' set the Start Menu to show 'Your Recently-Opened Programs' the Start Menu soon gets cluttered up with the most bizarre collection of things!

One of the first things I do is to dive into Control Panel and clean up the Start Menu for my client. I'm not a great user of the Desktop, simply because the Desktop is soon covered up by other windows. But the Start Menu is always available 'on top' and so I encourage my clients to have all their really important things here:

Internet browser

Email

A blank 'document'

A letterhead template

Google

etc.

Here's my Windows XP Start Menu with stuff that I regularly use. It's a little like baring your soul, isn't it?

But I have nothing to hide!!

One thing I think is very handy - and I advise my clients to do this - is to put your web Favorites on the menu.

I use Paint a lot for simple editing of screenshots that I use in my manuals. Character Map is good for those simple fractions that you often need, like half, quarter etc. as well as 'daggers' and other symbols you could use for footnotes...

What's on your Start Menu? How do you organize it - what would you recommend?

More Cash Flow

BY GUEST BLOGGER Carol

In this business cash flow is mostly one way in July/August. Out. My clients are taking their well earned holidays so I'm - not earning. That's not entirely true as I do a lot of work online these days, but I understand where Colin's coming from!

Like Colin, I rarely get a reluctant payer. I had one a few years ago who owned a garage. After a few weeks of excuses and flannel I turned up on the premises one day complete with (now ex) boyfriend. Big bloke - ex Royal Marines. Instant payment.

Clearly Colin has had the same experience of setting up computers/broadband as I have. If someone rings and asks me how long will it take to set up their broadband my answer is usually something like this - "half an hour if everything plays nicely - 3 hours if it fights back". You'd be surprised how many fight back. The router won't turn on at all (happened once). The router only works plugged into the main telephone socket, which is in the hall of a heavily beamed farmhouse and the other end of the building from the office, which contains a telephone socket that was wired in by Uncle Fred who ran the wire round the outside of the house and through the ivy. No, sorry, I'm not a telecoms engineer and I'm afraid I can't install another socket for you. Actually, I could write a book about setting up wireless routers - but it would be terribly boring, so I probably won't bother.

Which leads me to a digression - I arrived at one client's house a year or so ago to do some maintenance work on their ailing laptop. The broadband had always been slooooowwwww, even after several visits by BT with lots of excuses and notwithstanding the fact that the house next door had a good connection . That day it was working when I arrived - just. The engineer from BT arrived while I was there. He fiddled about for a bit, after which the broadband didn't work at all. The engineer left. BT rang to ask if my client was happy with their work. His admirable restraint in his use of language still amazes me.

Cash Flow

Hmmmm...

July ended with two people owing me money. I know they will pay eventually - in fact, one of them paid me today, just like he said he would.

But the trouble is that August starts with the mortgage, the gas bill, the electricity bill, the Internet bill and the water rates ALL going out on the same day. In fact, every month starts like that! So this month has got off to a particularly precarious financial start...

I do make it clear that I expect payment on the day for a lesson. I encourage people to pay in advance by giving very generous discounts for blocks of lessons. And the great majority of them do pay "on the nail".

---

But on odd occasions....well, it usually goes like this:

Someone phones up and asks me to help him set up a computer. Having checked that he has got the broadband equipment, I fix a date to set it up.

I go round to the house intending to set up the router, set up an email client (I HATE webmail!), install some antivirus for him (either the one that PCWorld persuaded him to buy or AVG Free), make sure he's got a useful homepage (like Google), clear the start menu of all the clutter and make sure he can find 'Internet' and 'Mail' easily.

After an hour and a half - job done - one happy client who now is keen to have some lessons. At least, that's my fervent hope and desire!

What happens on these odd occasions is that I get there to find he has a 'Netbook'/he's opted for some ISP and their phone service/he's opted for some ISP and is still trying to change his phone service....

Whatever the reason, the setup isn't going to work. In case you're wondering why I mentioned Netbooks, it's because I have found out that Netbooks are so small that they don't have room for a disc drive. So how do I play the setup CD?

So I spend two hours there, a good proportion of that spent on the phone to the ISP trying to find out exactly what has or has not been going on. Client doesn't understand about discs, filters, passwords, dots, underscores etc. etc. so I end up apologising on behalf of the ISP, myself, the telephone company, myself, the world-wide web, myself and the whole monstrous regiment of geeks everywhere.

But mainly on behalf of myself! So I retreat, promising to return and set it up again. And I haven't the heart to ask for payment! At least, not until I've done the job to my satisfaction.

I know - I should be harder.
I'm not paid by results, I'm paid for my time.

And although 90% of my setups have gone without a hitch and although most people recognise that 'time is money', one or two of the remainder have left me out of pocket. They do pay me next time, when I succeed in setting it up....

---

The worst case I've had is where a client had been using a spreadsheet to keep business records. He phoned me up asking if I could help him with this spreadsheet, because it didn't work. On arriving there, I find it's a complete mess with no structure to it. He knows what it means and what the headings are of course but because he's just been adding formulae to it "on the fly" (as we geeks say) he's ended up with so many bad references and general inconsistencies that the poor spreadsheet has turned its toes up and said "I just can't go on like this!"

I spent over an hour with him, then took it home for further analysis and spent at least two hours that night, reconstructing one of the sheets completely so that it worked, with clear 'frozen' headings so that it scrolled efficiently etc. etc. Then I took it back and went through the problems with him for another hour.

"Oh well, I've always done it like this..." he said.

Well yes, I thought, but wasn't that why he called me in the first place?

Then suddenly he was called away, so I said "I'll submit an invoice....bye....."

That was three weeks and two invoices ago...

---

Gosh, what a long post. And no pictures! But then I'd have to blank out the faces!!!

Have you any stories of reluctant payers?

Oh...I now carry a USB CD/DVD Drive everywhere I go on business!

Colin

A day in the life of an IT Teacher

BY GUEST BLOGGER Carol

Colin invited me to be a "guest blogger" - I hope he knows what he's getting himself into.

I've been an IT teacher for 12 years. I don't do much teaching these days, most of my time is spent designing websites for myself or my clients.

Being an IT teacher was fun (mostly), largely due to the amazing variety of lovely people that I met. I only ever had one "client from hell" - and no, wild horses wouldn't make me tell you who it was.

I've had a few funny incidents along the way, and I thought maybe I'd share a few with you. In this post, I'll leave you with the story of the elderly gentleman who rang me one day. No - I have no idea who he was.

Him - "I don't seem to be getting any of those email thingies"

Me - "are you sure you are connecting to the internet before you check your email" (this was in the good old days of dial-up internet)

Him = "I don't know what you mean"

Me - "Are you making sure that your computer is dialling and connecting to the internet?"

Him - "I don't have the internet"

Me - "Oh. Errrrrrr - errrrrm - what's your email address"

Him - " I don't have an email address"

Carol Smith - guest blogger

Whole new experience

A lady phoned me up last week to tell me that her son had given her "a little computer" and could I get her started with email and finding things on the Internet.

Well, that's what most people want to do, but I've learned to check a few things at these early stages of negotiations. So I questioned her gently on what sort of computer it was and whether she had an ISP etc. etc.

She said that she didn't yet have an Internet connection and the computer was an "EEPC"... at least, that's what it sounded like over the phone. So, as I often do, I volunteered to pay her a 'no obligation' visit so that I could talk to her in more detail about setting up a broadband provider and she could see if she liked me. Last Friday, I turned up at her house and met her "little computer".

It was little all right! Just about 9" overall width. And it's called an Eee PC.

We turned it on and I waited for the desktop to appear.......

I was so bemused - and she could see I was bemused - that she offered it to me for the weekend so that I could investigate it. She hadn't used it at all, so luckily she knew nothing about it! And over the weekend I realised that the 'desktop' was before my very eyes, only it was 'tabbed', like this:

If only I'd looked more carefully on the box I would have seen straightaway the word

Linux

Now I have seen the word before - and heard it - do you say 'linn-ux' or 'lyne-ux'? But I'd never met a computer using Linux before. I knew that web servers use/prefer Linux but I was quite happy to leave all that end of things to the geeks!

There is more to life than Microsoft!! I have had mild success with Macs - on both occasions! - and so could feel a little more confident in taking on a Mac client. Here I have a great opportunity to learn about Linux and the neat little Eee PC.

All I have to do is keep a page ahead of my new client!

Have any of you met this OS? Any opinions about it?

The July Charity

I rely on something presenting itself for my charity each month, and sure enough something turned up earlier this month. Terry appeared on the doorstep, clutching a sponsor form for his sky-dive. It's in aid of the Alzheimer's Society and I was impressed by Terry's determination. He's never jumped out of an aeroplane before and he's a few years older than me so he really should know better!

So I said that My Computer Tutor would sponsor his jump...and then just last week he knocked on the door again. He'd done it! He went up 12000 feet in a tiny aeroplane, strapped himself to his instructor Jez...and then Jez pushed him out!

Here's Terry in the plane, looking a little apprehensive, I think. The cool confident dude behind him is Jez.

Here are Terry and Jez in flight. Jez has done this countless times - Terry still looks apprehensive...Terryfied??? No, he's enjoying it!!!!

They fell for about 20 seconds, slowed up a little by a small parachute so that the cameraman could get these shots. Then Jez deployed the main 'shute - one of those steerable ones - and they landed safely on their feet. Terry came away with loads of photographs, a souvenir video of the event, and I hope lots of money for Alzheimer's Society.

On the occasions that I've thought about parachuting - and that's as near as I've come so far - I've thought it must be wonderful to hang there and have such a wonderful panoramic view. But then there's the all-important landing bit...so you probably spend all your time looking for the right field and don't have much opportunity for sight-seeing!

Well done, Terry!

Blog on!

It's been a long long time for various reasons, but I must admit that the main one has been inadequacy! When I first started blogging, a friend told me to break up my posts with some pictures - or at least a picture. So I tried to make sure that I included a relevant picture with each post. But then I just ran out of pictures to illustrate the points I was trying to make...or the stories I had to tell.



So now...I'm back and I intend to post a picture every time, whether it's relevant or not. You might have to think of them as The Interlude - get yourself an ice-cream or something.

This is where I went last weekend. It's a long story...
I was delivering my leaflets around a likely-looking village. Two blokes were loading stuff into a van in one driveway and I was just about to cough discreetly and say my usual "Just a leaflet...might be of interest..." when one of them said "HeLLO Colin!" And then the banter picked up - as though it was only yesterday instead of 8 years since I last saw John and his son Adam. "My word you do look grey...you got that tenner you owe me...etc. etc." John is a gunsmith and loves mucking about with blackpowder. A few years ago he hit on the idea of providing REAL cannon and mortars for the 1812 Overture and now he runs The Battle Proms, a full-blown open-air picnic/concert featuring Tchaikovsky's '1812' and Beethoven's 'Battle Symphony', which John and Adam and Co. take around the country all summer.

It's brilliant!
And loud!!
And such FUN!!!

Make sure you go if one's within 100 miles of you. My nearest was Blenheim Palace and that was 80 miles for me - but well worth it!

7,500 people can't be wrong.

May's (late) Charity!

I always meant to do it, but I got a little behind last month. Then today I saw people in town collecting for Arthritis Research UK and it reminded me that I hadn't done my charity for May.

Two or three of my clients have mentioned arthritis over the last few months and when I met a client who told me she was the secretary of the local ARC branch...well, it made the decision for me. This was definitely going to be one of my charities.

I have no idea what the next one will be, but in the course of my teaching and general meeting and talking to people I just know that something will crop up in time for the end of June!

Catch up time

Didn't I say last posting "Why have a blog if you don't write it regularly?"?

Or something similar.

And immediately I'm in trouble with my punctuation because I 'm quoting a question within my question!! Hence the two question marks.

But enough of semantics...or pedantics...it's time for the excuses:

• I've been busy...but not as busy as I'd have liked to have been
• ermmmm....

I can't think of any more excuses. But the excuse I've given needs a little explanation:

May has been an up-and-down month for me. Main achievement was finishing a website for a local choir and getting paid promptly for it. In fact, I was paid so promptly that perhaps I ought to have asked more for it! And having the money is good, because time is money and I do spend a lot of time on producing a website, but the main thing is the sense of achievement in seeing the thing work and the appreciative feedback I get from the customers.

Pupils have been a little sporadic - I didn't quite do £1000 worth of lessons in May and I set myself that figure as my target now. So there have been some gaps in the teaching weeks and you'd think that I could have filled each gap with a posting on this blog. But we've had some really good weather throughout May and it seemed such a shame to be sitting up here in the office...

So now you're thinking I've been sunbathing? Wrong! When you're running a one-man business there's always something profitable to do. It might not be immediately 'profitable' but there's always something that needs to be done to benefit the business and when the weather's good and I feel I need the exercise, I go out leafletting.

I'm on my fourth batch of leaflets since starting on November 5th 2008. I thought batches of 3000 would be manageable, both on my pocket and in carrying them home from the printer's. But having got through 9000 in 9 months I thought I'd up the tempo and order 5000 last August. I carried them home in the newly-acquired car. And from last Autumn things got busier - much busier- with pupils. So now, delivering leaflets is more of a pleasure and less of a chore than it was - almost a welcome relief!

I'm down to my last 500 now, so I've almost done 14 000 leaflets in 20 months - mostly through individual letter-boxes but I have left a few small stacks in various community centres.

And now it's school half-term, which means I get the week off from the singing job, so it's an opportunity to give myself a break. Family time!

So I suppose that makes two Excuses For Not Blogging after all:

• I had to fill the time with business-related activity
• I had to make time to get away from business-related activity

Back to work tomorrow...a manual to prepare and then print six copies for new pupils, mock-up some specimen web-pages for a prospective client, tax the car, drop off some business cards at my friendly local PC retailer, return phone calls to THREE enquirers....but no actual teaching til Wednesday.

Still, as you see, there's always something to do!

Ill winds and silver linings

It's been two weeks of mixed fortune for My Computer Tutor. Last week was "a bit thin" - that's how I described it to friends who asked.

I had three clients cancel lessons through illness and another postpone because she was on holiday. Fair enough - we all get ill at some time, and we all need a holiday.
But then one session turned into a ignominious retreat because although I thought I'd managed to burn a DVD disc of photographs successfully, the wretched thing wouldn't play all the way through on my client's DVD player. I won't bore you with the technical details - or rather my lack of the grasp of the technical details - but I took it home again promising to investigate fully. And didn't count that as a lesson.

Then on Friday I arrived for my first pupil...to find her opening the door in her pyjamas (pink) to explain that she'd completely forgotten... "No matter", I said breezily, "These things happen....see you next Friday". I'm a softy, I suppose. I should charge for the session - and I see on some tutors' websites that they say they do. But then ultimately how can you enforce it? And is it worth all the bad feeling? And anyway, this lady's had at least 20 lessons and shows every sign of wanting more.
But I used her lesson time to deliver some leaflets before going on to my next pupil.

So I was 5 lessons down last week - and Monday was the May Day Bank Holiday so I was going to be another 3 lessons short this week. But over the weekend the phone rang a few times, with the result that I have a new pupil who has booked 4 lessons starting in the middle of May and another who starts next week. In the "spare" time I had last week I managed to publish a website for a male voice choir and will submit the invoice this weekend. I finished a spreadsheet for a local business and now he wants his website upgraded too.

There's always something profitable to do, even if I'm not actually teaching a client. I always have 'homework' to do for someone - sometimes it seems like everyone! And there are still areas of the county that I can leaflet....so never a dull moment....clouds and silver linings etc. etc.

And my DVD lady is happy with the disk...it plays on the laptop OK as a slideshow, after all...and I rescued her printer and sorted out all kinds of stuff for her this morning - so that was good - especially as she paid me for the last four lessons, so April's figures now look a little better!

How's work for you?

Colin

April Charity

I've just received an email from The Royal Marsden Cancer Campaign telling me that my birthday party raised...

£491.00

I am thrilled - and so grateful to all the people who chipped in. Some people couldn't make it to the party but sent contributions anyway!

The Royal Marsden's Supporter Relations Executive, Lucy, who was so helpful with providing balloons and collection boxes and T-shirts etc. etc., took time to look at my blog entry for 12th April and now has taken a fancy to

Big Glyn

Spring is in the air!

Thanks to my mother for providing me with this party, to Jacky for organising it all, to Lucy for all the help, to Glyn for his advice and support on the night, to Ed for photographing it all and to everyone who supported the Royal Marsden and comforted me in my old age!!

The Time Has Come

I've been holding back for a few months but now it's time to confess. I've made a mistake - an error of judgement.

I think that's the fairest way to put it. I don't consider that I've been deliberately cheated - the decision was mine - it seemed like a good idea - but so far it just hasn't worked.

Here's the story:

Back in September 2009 I was phoned up by a salesman who suggested that my business would benefit from advertising within a local supermarket. It sounded like a good idea. The supermarket (national and orange) is just ten minutes walk away from my home. Lots of people go there - lots of people should see my adverts.

Salesman came round, had coffee, told me the details, knocked the price down significantly and I signed up to 2 years of advertising.

I paid £150 up front and agreed to pay 6 monthly instalments of £75.

Total for 2 years advertising: £600

One new client per month would cover it.


I designed my own business card (otherwise it would have cost me another £99) and I took their advice and included a 10% discount: "Bring this card with you..."

Well, I've paid the last instalment. It's been running for 6 months.

Number of enquiries: 1 (one)

Number of clients gained: 0 (zero)


I'm not the only advertiser. There are 20 other local businesses there on the board.

You could say it's early days yet...but if nothing's happened over these 6 months, is it likely to improve over the next 18 months?


I think I've given it a fair chance. And it seemed like such a good idea!!

Of course I'll leave my business cards up there - after all, I've paid for 2 years advertising space. But soon I'm going to collect a card from the 20 other advertisers, bring them home and go through them all, phoning or emailing to compare notes!

I wonder what success rate the others have had...

Has anyone else had any experience of this advertising?

Colin

Milestone

What's a birthday, huh? Just another day marking just another year. But anyway, I thought I'd make a bit of a thing about this one and follow my friend Tim's lead. Tim had a 'milestone' party earlier this year and asked for no presents but donations to a charity.

Here's Tim, shaking his fist at someone. He's from New Jersey, so we have to make excuses for him...

I thought I'd do the same - shake my fist at people and demand donations to a charity! And so lots of people came to my birthday party and stuffed 'folding donations' into collection boxes for the Royal Marsden Cancer Campaign. That's my April charity, because the Royal Marsden has been so good treating my brother-in-law Barry.

Here's Barry with my sister Mary.

Barry's undergone intensive radiotherapy for 6 weeks, travelling up to London from Dorset for consultations and check-ups and fittings., as well as the actual treatment.

I bet we all know someone - or of someone - who has some form of cancer. The Royal Marsden has been brilliant to Barry and I'm sure they are just as brilliant with everyone they treat.

Now some pics of some of the 'party animals' - they were brilliant too with their contributions. I have no idea how much we collected but I shall let you know asap.

John, my back, Jeremy, (another)Mary, Jacky, Liz and Geoff's ear.

Big Glyn, who made sure everybody filled in a Gift Aid form. You wouldn't want to argue!

Geoff, me and Sue.

Duncan, Stephen and Tracy. Look in those eyes! The camera does not lie!

Ed's girlfriend Laura - pretty as a picture.

One person who didn't appear in the pics was my cameraman son Ed. He was brilliant too.

So I've taken a whole week off from work - amazing! But back to it now with a full week ahead of me. One guy's just phoned to book up all the Mondays in June! How's that for enthusiasm?

Busiest month ever!

...or have I said that before?
But it must have been, because it's three weeks since I last posted something here. I have new pupils - and some old ones returning - and two commissions! One is a website for a choir and the other is a spreadsheet for a local business.

I really haven't had any spare time to write here, which in a way is good because it shows that this computer tutoring has become my full-time job. And also it's bad because everyone needs some "down time" - and what's the point of keeping a blog if you don't make time to keep it going?

I expected an easy time today. I had one lesson booked at 2.30 with a lovely lady who always gives me tea - and I mean real genteel tea with biscuits and cake and milk-in-a-jug an' all. Very civilised.



But by 5pm yesterday I had Maundy Thursday all booked up. The morning was taken up with a Cathedral service - long, tedious but y' gotta be there 'cos that's the job - and then a lunchtime dash out of town for an emergency retrieval of lost letters for a new pupil, back into town for my 'tea lady' and then straight on to a gentleman who was so impressed by yesterday's lesson that he booked another one for today!

So no time for tea - but my lady wouldn't let me leave without taking some cake!!


But "down time" starts now and will continue for ten whole days! I have a landmark birthday to celebrate and I have cleared all of next week and two weekends. Phew!

My charity for March

One pupil I've been seeing since well before Christmas has photosensitive epilepsy. She told me something about it when we first met, listing some of the things that can 'set her off'. I make sure that I don't wear stripey shirts - I'm not a 'loud stripe' person anyway. Her home has brass or gold-colour fittings - door handles, taps, even the carpet joiners - she lives in a cul-de-sac so there aren't many cars going by, and the windows have vertical blinds instead of horizontal ones to reduce any flickering.

I had no idea about this before I met her. We've all heard the warnings about strobe lighting, which can cause epileptic seizures, but there are so many things out there in the world that photosensitive people are susceptible to. My pupil tells me that when she was looking for a house to buy, she went to view one she saw advertised...and found it was fitted with brass, brown sinks, horizontal blinds etc. etc. The vendor also had photosensitive epilepsy! And that's the house where my client lives now!

So Epilepsy Action is my charity for March.

April's is already fixed - news of that when I get back from my break!

And I've met two other pupils with links to a charity which I shall support in May.

Happy Easter!

Colin

The Patience of St Colin

More than one of my friends and colleagues have said to me "You must have the patience of a saint!" when I explain my computer tuition work to them. Now I recall that a couple of tutors also advised me - or warned me - that I'd need "the patience of a saint".

And I suppose I am very patient with many of my pupils, although a very few do try me sorely! You're just getting into the topic that the client says he wants to do...when he clicks - he doesn't know where because he's looking somewhere else - and things disappear...or appear...it doesn't matter which, you can bet your boots that whatever happens has no bearing on the topic in hand. Client learnt in the first lesson that 'clicking' is involved, so now if in doubt he just has a good click!
And then you spend the next half hour trying to find what exactly he's done.

Computers themselves don't help. Unexpected windows pop up, announcing that "Your McNorsky antivirus is out of date...update NOW before you crash 'n' burn" or "There are important updates for your computer" and my client says "Ooh that keeps on coming and I didn't know what to do..." Or Microsoft Office suddenly announces that you've only got 13 more goes before it all packs up. This happens a lot with new computers and I have to explain about 60-day trials and "Product Keys" and generally how greedy Microsoft have become.

And there we were in the middle of some word-processing and it's all interrupted while I explain that unless he pays £100+ to Microsoft it might be better if we downloaded OpenOffice - and before we do that perhaps we better update the McNorsky.

Which eventually leads to the question "Why do I have to restart?".

Well...............a good question!


In a contemplative moment yesterday I wondered why I'd never heard of a St. Colin. Put thy trust in Google, I said to myself and so I had a look.

Behold St Colin the Dude!

This really is the only reference to a St. Colin on Google...and therefore, the whole world!

This reminded me of a lovely incident 18 months ago when the Cathedral Choir went on a tour of Pennsylvania and Massachusetts. On these tours we have local families host us for a couple of nights before we move on to the next gig. My hosts in Philadelphia had two sons of 10 and 8. Mother and the 10-year-old came to meet me and take me to their home. Elder brother announced my arrival to the rest of the family with "Hey guys, the singin' dude is here".

And ever after I have thought of myself as not so much a "Lay Clerk", more a singin' dude.

All I need now is a beard and a surfboard...........